There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If I die, sorry about rent.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
