I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
