Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize