and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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