I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
