We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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