i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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