I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
