Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize