You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
