Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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