Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
