It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
