every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
