I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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