dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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