I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
