Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
