How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
