i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
