How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
