I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
