had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
