dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
