So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
