then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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