i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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