just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
