He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
