okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
