my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
