That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just want nice things and good sex
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
