Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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