i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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