carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
