I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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