I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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