a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
