I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
