Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
