i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
