and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
