like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
