oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
