i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
