I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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