hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
