i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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