plz talk dirty to me
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
