I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
