Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
