I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize