In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
