It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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