i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
