i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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