All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
