Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
