break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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