Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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