That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize