That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
