this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
