is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
