it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
