I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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