arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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