I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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